The first time I heard about “holding space” for someone, I had no idea what was actually being said. In our modern society this sounds a bit flaky and funny, until one day…
Have you ever wondered why people (most, at least), yearn for time in nature and her wide open spaces? In these chosen spaces we “find ourselves”. We experience no-one else but us. The space feels uncluttered, expansive and safe. We can clear our heads, work through things and experience clarity for decision-making. We can be naked, real. We don’t even have to do much, but live. We even start liking ourselves and others again. In these spaces we come alive!
Thinking about our human relationships, I believe we can and do also come alive in wide open spaces.
Let me explain what I mean.
The space between two people is the space in which relationship happens. As in nature, the spaces are different from one another. Some are larger, denser, more humid, more arid, lush, etc. than others. Each person has preference for the spaces they seek out and occupy. This is where the beauty of relationship is found.
By simply being happy in your skin and being you, the best version of yourself in that moment, you create a new kind of space in which relationship can happen. Clear your space from the clutter of judgement, your “should’s, ought’s and musts”, so that the people who enter are free to express themselves as they are in the moment.
Hold space for them to be fully and gloriously real. In these type of spaces, we get to experience the nakedness of souls, the joy they carry and the gifts they bring.
I have seen people change from deep within, once they are held in such a space. I have shared in the joys of remembering the good times once thought of as challenging, I have seen the child come out of her shell and play once more, I have heard the woman say “I like myself here”, I have witnessed the man who thought he was broken, transform into a force of nature.
These miracles happen when we know that we matter enough. In these spaces we grow in self-esteem, we see a future again, we want to participate in Life, we want to love. In uncluttered, expansive, safe spaces we find ourselves, others and our Creator.
Holding space for someone else is simple. We have to set aside our judgements and allow the other person to be fully him or herself. Enjoy how people show up, instead of expecting them to be how you want them to be.
And be present. It causes the other person to know that he/she matters.
In a world where we intentionally create such spaces for relationship, we live from Love. Nothing ever has to be forced upon another. People will do their best for you, because they want to, for who in their right mind would want to leave such a place?
The time is perfect, now, to be the creator and holder of such spaces in all our relationships. I know you can.
My wish is that you also experience being held in such a space, for I promise you this, your soul will come alive.